Ancient Warrior Fan T-Shirts

"Do you think the world really is going to hell, or are we just getting old?"

'Razed any good cities lately?'

"I don't care if all the other husbands are pillaging. You promised you'd clean out the gutters today."

'I think that our next door neighbor might have lived here.'

"Oh look Pharaoh a miniature replica of your final resting place."

Two gamers play in a game arcade near a machine titled; 'Get a life'.

'Honey, I'm Rome!'

Ancient Grammar Police: 'Oh, for cryin' out loud...you never end a sentence with a . . .'

"You guys need to #@%!% fight harder. You're all #@%!% wimps! You call yourselves a #@%!% army? Bull%#!*!"

'All this 'plane geometry' stuff is great, Euclid, but what if the Earth turns out to be round?'

'You're too aggressive.'

"No, no, no! Thirty days hath September!"

The real reason for the pyramids.

'It's amazing - the arrows seem to follow you around the cave'

I'm tired of working, Randy. One of my ancestors put it best. It was the early days of the Roman republic. Randius Taylorus Maximus was a soldier in the Roman phalanx. That bored him to death. All the clumsy formations, all the cumbersome gear, all the losing ... so he deserted and joined up with the Spartans. That's where he stopped "working" for a living, and got to do what he loved. He got to oil up and go into battle half-naked, with nothing but his shield, his sword and his loincloth. Years

The pyramids were built using advanced alien knowledge.

Spaghetti Mummy

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Hill Figure

'Actually, I find the destroying more satisfying than the nation-building.'

'Damn copier broke down again!'

Lost to antiquity.

'Jack Tar' Symbolises Nelson's Victory in the Battle of the Nile

'All I'm saying is that if we don't want to be invaded, we'd be better off with weapons of mass destruction.'

'Just think of me as your life coach.'

The Day They Invented Papyrus

The curse of the Ancient Egyptians, Andrex puppies

'It appears the empire really is declining and falling.'

"Hopefully I'll have enough frequent pillaging points after this trip to get a new sword!"

"Hey! I got a lot done in one day!"

"Hey, knock it off. We need those!"

'Now that's what I CALL a free-range chicken'

"Shoo!"

And risk a splinter in my hand? No, sir, I'll take my chances with your so-called lion.

Famous last words. Cleopatra. Idiots! I said bring me an "aspirin"!

"It's important to be close friends with the pharaoh, but not so close that he wants to be entombed with you."