Ancient Warrior Fan Gifts

"Do you think the world really is going to hell, or are we just getting old?"

'Razed any good cities lately?'

"I don't care if all the other husbands are pillaging. You promised you'd clean out the gutters today."

'I think that our next door neighbor might have lived here.'

"Oh look Pharaoh a miniature replica of your final resting place."

Two gamers play in a game arcade near a machine titled; 'Get a life'.

'Honey, I'm Rome!'

Ancient Grammar Police: 'Oh, for cryin' out loud...you never end a sentence with a . . .'

"You guys need to #@%!% fight harder. You're all #@%!% wimps! You call yourselves a #@%!% army? Bull%#!*!"

'All this 'plane geometry' stuff is great, Euclid, but what if the Earth turns out to be round?'

'You're too aggressive.'

"No, no, no! Thirty days hath September!"

'It's amazing - the arrows seem to follow you around the cave'

The real reason for the pyramids.

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Hill Figure

'Actually, I find the destroying more satisfying than the nation-building.'

Spaghetti Mummy

The pyramids were built using advanced alien knowledge.

'Damn copier broke down again!'

Lost to antiquity.

'Jack Tar' Symbolises Nelson's Victory in the Battle of the Nile

'All I'm saying is that if we don't want to be invaded, we'd be better off with weapons of mass destruction.'

The Day They Invented Papyrus

'Just think of me as your life coach.'

"Hopefully I'll have enough frequent pillaging points after this trip to get a new sword!"

The curse of the Ancient Egyptians, Andrex puppies

'It appears the empire really is declining and falling.'

"Hey, knock it off. We need those!"

"Hey! I got a lot done in one day!"

'Now that's what I CALL a free-range chicken'

"Shoo!"

Egyptian Golfers.

'First package goes to the Parthenon. Second package goes to the Odeon. Third package as far as I'm concerned you can sacrifice to the Gods.'

Horseback.