Ancient World Fan Gifts

'It appears the empire really is declining and falling.'

'The fire went out?- You did get a warranty,didn't you?'

'It's an extinction notice.'

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

Those Were The Days

"Darn autocorrect!"

43AD: Romans invade Britain.

'I don't care if it's a little storage room for King Tut, you still need a building permit and contractor's license.'

Oedipus

'Those were the days, eh Grandpa?'

"Oh look Pharaoh a miniature replica of your final resting place."

'I think that our next door neighbor might have lived here.'

"All right, let's clam up, everybody. Here comes another expedition."

Romans.

"Poor dear, she's just discovered all these years she's been the muse for a plagiarist."

'Anti-Graffito' worker about to erase hieroglyphics.

'We started the extension then the property market collapsed.'

PHARMACY, 'Tell Hippocrates to write his prescriptions in Greek -- I can't read Babylonian!'

Pyramids exploding.

Ancient Grammar Police: 'Oh, for cryin' out loud...you never end a sentence with a . . .'

Ancient Greek setting. Man at desk writing on scroll says: 'Yes, they're draconian measures ??" but then, I am Draco.'

'This stuff is a snap for me. I used to be a pharmacist.'

PHARMACY, 'Tell Hippocrates to write his prescriptions in Greek -- I can't read Babylonian!'

"So we're agreed—free will exists, unless there are treats."

"Now if it's a people-mover you're after..."

"Just a routine ID check, Mr. Spartacus - there are lots of people with the same name, you know."

'It seems a lot of trouble to go through just to sharpen a razor blade.'

"Greece! Greece! Greece! Every day it's the same! Just the constant Greece!"

Easter Island Secret

"Nothing feels better after a long day's hunting than a nice, long soak in the hot-wheel."

'All this 'plane geometry' stuff is great, Euclid, but what if the Earth turns out to be round?'

"No, no, no! Thirty days hath September!"

"Surely, as the world's only superpower, we're entitled to a little mischief now and then."