Ancient Cultures Fan Gifts

'I'm sure the Pharaoh was a great guy, but I've got my own leadership style.'

"Man, I hate daylight savings."

"That's a wrap..!"

'I don't care if it's a little storage room for King Tut, you still need a building permit and contractor's license.'

'A defining moment for mankind...Archimedes invents the bulldog clip.'

"Now if it's a people-mover you're after..."

"Has it ever occurred to you that going into battle in nothing but skirts and sandals is rather insane?"

"You're right. On paper, it seems a no-brainer."

Athena

Chiropracter in Ancient Egypt

Last of the bleeding heart liberals

Easter Island Secret

Ancient Egyptian pyramid builders drink beer from cooler.

"Oh Great One! We offer you this sacrificial lamb, and your choice of any two side dishes."

"Nothing feels better after a long day's hunting than a nice, long soak in the hot-wheel."

"It's the stone age, son, and your folks have stones."

"All right, let's clam up, everybody. Here comes another expedition."

Ambrosia.

"We were once a great civilization."

'It's an extinction notice.'

"A world without Ovid? I can't even begin to imagine a world without Ovid."

An ancient Egyptian exhibit at a museum.

"Darn autocorrect!"

43AD: Romans invade Britain.

'What distinguishes man from the lower animals is the ability to make tools.'

"Take that mammoth back. It's not 'wooly' enough."

Hey, dad, do you think we could play something besides "catch"?

Piles of trash discarded by ancient people are a rich source of artifacts for archaeologists. I unearthed garbage dumps that advanced our understanding of prehistoric societies. On the island of Crete I found ancient trash that increased our knowledge about the Minoan people. And I recently uncovered informative Celtic rubbish. Please stop saying studying ancient cultures by what they threw away is "junk science"!

"...and if you add wind-chill factor, the next plague will be even worse!"

Oedipus

The mysterious ancient stone figures of Keister Island.

'Those were the days, eh Grandpa?'

'I think that our next door neighbor might have lived here.'

"Poor dear, she's just discovered all these years she's been the muse for a plagiarist."

'We started the extension then the property market collapsed.'