Ancient Cultures Enthusiast Gifts

It says not only was he a kind and benevolent ruler, he was a fun type too.

Let's hear a cheer for the sun god! Ra Ra Ra.

"Our aging pharaoh demands large print text."

'The spheres keep rolling away, Your Majesty -- how about we just build a pyramid?'

Lion has heartburn after eating Christians in arena

Admirable People - No.7. The man who invented writing before anyone could read.

Smoker

Ancient Greek Discovers the Right Angle

Despite not being the sharpest chisel in the cave, Oogah still managed to ace his hunting and gathering test.

"Are you sure you followed the plan exactly?"

"There are two jobs available; Pharaoh's physician or Pharaoh's slave. If I were you I'd take the slave job, the conditions are much better."

Cavewoman knitting with wool from mammoth

Sphinx cat and mummy mouse

"We're having one heck of a time building that trapezoidal thing of yours..."

"Well, that certainly killed my buzz."

'Evidently, one of them was a cartoonist!'

"A world without Ovid? I can't even begin to imagine a world without Ovid."

An ancient Egyptian exhibit at a museum.

'But this is fantastic, professor! It's like no language I've ever seen before!'

"Here's the parking lot."

"Take that mammoth back. It's not 'wooly' enough."

Piles of trash discarded by ancient people are a rich source of artifacts for archaeologists. I unearthed garbage dumps that advanced our understanding of prehistoric societies. On the island of Crete I found ancient trash that increased our knowledge about the Minoan people. And I recently uncovered informative Celtic rubbish. Please stop saying studying ancient cultures by what they threw away is "junk science"!

'What distinguishes man from the lower animals is the ability to make tools.'

Egyptian chiropractor.

'I don't care if it's a little storage room for King Tut, you still need a building permit and contractor's license.'

"...and if you add wind-chill factor, the next plague will be even worse!"

Mark Anthony on Zoom.

Trojan horse with a satellite dish.

'They're relics of the many ancient civilization that have dwelled at Blisshaven.'

The mysterious ancient stone figures of Keister Island.

"All right, let's clam up, everybody. Here comes another expedition."

I came, I saw, I partied!