Ancient Civilizations Enthusiast Gifts

"Oh, look, everyone. Dolphins."

'They can't work as a team.'

Completed on time and only 3,000 slaves over budget.

Egyptian chiropractor.

Egyptian: 'I want you to build a 3-D triangle for the Pharaoh.' Slave says, 'Sounds like some kind of pyramid scheme.'

An 'on-the-job' injury in Egypt.

Britain in 410AD

Welcome to Mesopotamia: Birthplace of Civilization. Population (unable to read rest of sign as it's been blown off.)

"That one's for his cat."

"There's your problem, lady. It's not ants you've got living in your walls, it's Hittites."

"I'm sorry. . . but I can't understand a symbol you're saying."

"I got his nose."

"It goes on to say 'We use petroleum to light our laps, and to heat our food, but we can't seem to come up with an internal combustion engine'."

"'Commandments'? -- I wonder of the Pharaoh's still hiring."

'By Jove! We've uncovered an ancient men's room.'

Egyptian mummy with a fly-swatter.

Removal Van.

'Hold it! He's been overthrown.'

'Completed the pyramid, eh? Now take it down to the ground.'

'I know how you all feel, but the illegal barbarians are essential to the Roman economy.'

Lost ancient text.

"Marcus, this sword is filthy...you want to give people tetanus?"

"Remember that the Pharaoh is a living god. You can't refer to the pyramid as his future tomb, but as his retirement palace."

"What's your earliest memory, Sadie?" "You can not get under my skin, loser." "Maybe I can help you figure it out: were people wearing powdered wigs, or were they wearing togas?" "Did they live in primitive huts, or in trees?" "I'm not listening!" "Were they standing upright, or swimming in a primordial sea?" "You're about to be swimming in primordial soup."

"At least it's a dry heat..."

The Peloponnesian Argument

"I'm really trying not to freak out about every little cataclysm."

"What I'd like to know is what the hell happened to all the virgins in this town."

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

"I've come across a rather disturbing find, Carstairs!"

Sphinx cat and mummy mouse

'Shoot, this is nothing, you should have seen how good we had it back in ancient Egypt.'

"We're having one heck of a time building that trapezoidal thing of yours..."

"Well, that certainly killed my buzz."

'Evidently, one of them was a cartoonist!'