Ancient Civilization Enthusiast Gifts

'But this is fantastic, professor! It's like no language I've ever seen before!'

Archaeologists - "It appears to be some sort of tax cut promise."

Mayan Calendar: 'Chief says just take it 2012 that's when we will switch...'

'Whoever they were, they had an advanced knowledge of fabric care.'

'Where does this go?'

'I think scroll sounds better than 'continuous media,''

'It's too big for me to keep clean myself.'

2584 BC: The Pharaoh gives his people valuable work experience as unpaid interns.

Who Men Worship Through Time.

'Evidently, one of them was a cartoonist!'

Think of me not as a god, but as a friend who's always right.

Hadrian's Fence

"We're having one heck of a time building that trapezoidal thing of yours..."

Closed for Renovation

'Veni, vidi, vici, Wifey!'

Easter Island dentistry

The Nosy Cleaner

'Mena,the presses are about to roll.' 'But I'm STILL writing my column!!'

"It says, 'their government became dominated by the religious right..."

'It seems they couldn't decide if the new millennium begins at 3000 B.C. or 3001 B. C.'

'Well I'll be darned! Would you believe it says DVD?!'

Mappa Brittanica

'With the sun rising in that position, I think it's blue bin for recycling to be put out tomorrow.'

Egyptian pharaoh Hatshepsut's fake beard slips as a confused labourer looks on.

The Tomb of Ramses the Imbiber

"This section reads, 'The boy king will rule for eternity'... and below that it says 'For a good time call Nefertiti'!"

"You're sure you're not Hammurabi?"

The Gods

Egyptian Extra Long-Life Gauze Bandage

"The Egyptians, Chinese, Sumerians, Mesopotamians, and Peruvians kept meticulous records during the time of the alleged flood and neglected to mention they all died."

"I wish I'd put in a stair lift."

A Mesoamerican pyramid with a lift

Hmm...not sure about the granny annex...

A tour guide speaks in hieroglyphs,

Pyramids