Ancient Warfare Fan T-Shirts

"You have GOT to see this video!"

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

"We're following Carrot Top."

William Shakespeare sitting at a desk

The Da Vinci Cod

You're my Venus

"A wise choice sir! Aah. . . Da Vinci - a genius of the Renaissance and a man who changed the face of art forever! Would you like that as a bookmark, a pencil sharpener or a fridge magnet. . . ?"

'I think that our next door neighbor might have lived here.'

Pyramids exploding.

"Do you think the world really is going to hell, or are we just getting old?"

'Barbarians at the gate? That's fine, I fully support social mobility.'

Ancient Greek setting. Man at desk writing on scroll says: 'Yes, they're draconian measures ??" but then, I am Draco.'

"I'm not loitering officer, I 'm waiting for the next renaissance!"

'It seems a lot of trouble to go through just to sharpen a razor blade.'

Rembrandt's Selfies

"You guys need to #@%!% fight harder. You're all #@%!% wimps! You call yourselves a #@%!% army? Bull%#!*!"

'All this 'plane geometry' stuff is great, Euclid, but what if the Earth turns out to be round?'

"No, no, no! Thirty days hath September!"

The real reason for the pyramids.

'It's amazing - the arrows seem to follow you around the cave'

Ancient Egyptian eye tests.

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Hill Figure

The pyramids were built using advanced alien knowledge.

'Actually, I find the destroying more satisfying than the nation-building.'

'Jack Tar' Symbolises Nelson's Victory in the Battle of the Nile

"Go with Hannibal if you must."

Monster chariot races

'Razed any good cities lately?'

'Can I hop in, since I was on your team?'

The Day They Invented Papyrus

"The battle for the living room war about to heat up."

Roman paramedic.