Ancient Warrior Aficionado Mugs

That was the last of the Celtic villages. From now on, it's the lecture circuit.

101 uses of a dead cat: helmet

Those Were The Days

"Well. . . either it's sinking, or you got the measurements wrong. . .!"

"No flash in the ancient mummy gallery."

'Honey, I'm Rome!'

"Do you think the world really is going to hell, or are we just getting old?"

'Barbarians at the gate? That's fine, I fully support social mobility.'

"You're right! It is a mezuzah!"

'This stuff is a snap for me. I used to be a pharmacist.'

"You guys need to #@%!% fight harder. You're all #@%!% wimps! You call yourselves a #@%!% army? Bull%#!*!"

"Just a routine ID check, Mr. Spartacus - there are lots of people with the same name, you know."

'You're too aggressive.'

"Aha! - Proof that this is definitely an iron-age site..."

'That's a bad omen no sooner does he invent the wheel than he has the first ever road traffic accident.'

First aid and sculpture

Mummies for Dummies

'Actually, I find the destroying more satisfying than the nation-building.'

Atlas Explained.

'Whatever happened to that platoon of GIs you used to pretend to be at bedtimes?'

I'm tired of working, Randy. One of my ancestors put it best. It was the early days of the Roman republic. Randius Taylorus Maximus was a soldier in the Roman phalanx. That bored him to death. All the clumsy formations, all the cumbersome gear, all the losing ... so he deserted and joined up with the Spartans. That's where he stopped "working" for a living, and got to do what he loved. He got to oil up and go into battle half-naked, with nothing but his shield, his sword and his loincloth. Years

'What Caesar doesn't understand is that all politics is local!'

'Oh no! not 100,000 Persians again! How many of us?'

'All I'm saying is that if we don't want to be invaded, we'd be better off with weapons of mass destruction.'

'You know, I'm about to stop caring whether they're here legally or not!'

'Razed any good cities lately?'

"This coin must be 2,000 years old. Try not to put this one in a pop machine."

National Pottery Live

'It was built by the ancients as a calendar. We know because each pillar has a kitten doing something really cute carved on it!'

"Hopefully I'll have enough frequent pillaging points after this trip to get a new sword!"

'We've laid it out so that twice a year the sun's rays will penetrate all the way back to the throne and smack him right between the eyes.'

Man looking at 2 stone godesses, one with many arms, one with many breasts.

Archaeologists

"Hey! I got a lot done in one day!"

An ancient Roman looks at a the bottom of a clay pot and sees a bar code.