Ancient History Buff Gifts

"I may be a jackal-headed god of the underworld, Janet, but I'm also your lawyer."

"Thanks a bunch. I'll just run these by our committee and pass them along."

Not you again, Achilles.

The First Writer and Editor: 'Take out that part?! Are you nuts? How is the stampede scene at the end of the cave going to make sense without it?!'

"To be honest, the hardest part was the ISO certification."

"How do we know it's not full of consultants?"

"I always forget - is it Kirsten or Kristin?"

Early Treadmills,

Originally, Stonehenge was part of a much more ambitious project.

Occasionally, when logic and rational inferences based on experience were not enough, Plato and Aristotle would resort to settling their discourse by other means.

'Well, the boss did say we would be given a forum.'

'... And looking at the extended forecast. We see the swarms of locusts moving out by the weekend just in time for another wave of burning hail.'

'This would make a great back massager.'

Surf's up!

'Sure, it's a great invention, but what about liability?'

'Nobody's ordering it. With all due respect, sir-I suggest we give it an easier-to-pronounce name.'

'Who ordered the caesar salad?'

'Look, I hope this isn't too much of a hassle... but I think I'd prefer a Pyramid now!'

Zeus reading book titled 'Omnipotent Beings Who Do Too Much.'

'Still not punchy enough. Try putting NERO all in capitals...'

"You're putting up too many walls Hadrian."

Egyptian bowler.

The End of the Iron Age.

'He's a visionary.'

Arhimedes had principles: 'I'm not getting in that bath till it's 23 degrees.'

Stone henge swing.

'According to my theory, if I rub these two sticks together long enough, I'll get a wheel!'

The Unknown Philosopher, who first realised life is no picnic.

Eureka!

'This 'Palestine' place you're giving to us - Will we have the mineral rights?'

I hate changing FROM Daylight Saving Time.

'Diogenes - I'm appointing you to form an ethics committee.'

'Look, the Mayas did Pilates!'

'Before we test this do you know how to fill out an accident report?'

"There, there, it's not so bad - we did introduce the grapevine to your country."