Ancient History Geek Gifts

"I know I shouldn't, but they're my weakness."

'I can hardly wait for someone to invent paper.'

"It's more efficient than hurling the things."

"The internet is down again."

Pizza. Pizza. It's just in case they won't let the horse in.

'I'm inventing the wheel, and I'd like you to be my SPOKESMAN.'

'Og's so modest...he won't mention it but he was the very first to discover fire!'

'Did we bring enough lotion because the ancient curse of the mummy is very dry skin!'

"How do you handle being a rock god?"

Tourists

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

'Einsteiners.'

'Take it from me and come back. The future is definitely on land.'

"If we only used bigger clubs we would defeat our enemies every time, and we would dominate them forever!"

"Frankly, I can't wait until I evolve into a bird..."

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

"Have you been playing dice?"

On a hot day in 1941, scientists uncovered the only known remains of the elusive nerdosaurus rex,

Sphinx cat and mummy mouse

'A wheel? No wonder I broke a tooth. I thought it was a donut.'

'It's an extinction notice.'

'I'm sure he was a great guy, but there's a new Pharaoh in town.'

Grim Reaper rowing a boat full of dead souls to the afterlife; a tip jar sits on the side of the boat.

'The dreaded Anachronisaurus strikes again!'

Eurydice is bitten by a snake

"Well, that certainly killed my buzz."

Fertility goddess. Nanny goddess.

"He conquered the known world - now all he's got is sudoku."

'I hope you like this, dear. I got the recipe from Gordon Ramses, latest cookery hieroglyphics.'

"I think someone's trying to play games with us."

Julius is writing a memoir of his youth, but doesn't know what to call it. "Caesar's Salad Days"!

'I think it's more than a coincidence that I discover fire, and my wife discovers burnt food on the same day.'

'You can come down a peg. Mesopotamia gave the world bureaucracy, you know.'

A child at a museum starts to pull the wrappings off a mummy.