Ancient History Fanatic Gifts

"Let me handle this. I have trouble making eye contact."

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

Tourists

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

"If we only used bigger clubs we would defeat our enemies every time, and we would dominate them forever!"

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

"Frankly, I can't wait until I evolve into a bird..."

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

"I've come across a rather disturbing find, Carstairs!"

"Have you been playing dice?"

Sphinx cat and mummy mouse

'It's an extinction notice.'

'The dreaded Anachronisaurus strikes again!'

'I'm sure he was a great guy, but there's a new Pharaoh in town.'

Grim Reaper rowing a boat full of dead souls to the afterlife; a tip jar sits on the side of the boat.

"He conquered the known world - now all he's got is sudoku."

Trojan Hurdler.

'You can come down a peg. Mesopotamia gave the world bureaucracy, you know.'

An ancient Egyptian exhibit at a museum.

A child at a museum starts to pull the wrappings off a mummy.

6,000 BC: Neolithic Barbecue

The Fall of Gnome

'I think it's more than a coincidence that I discover fire, and my wife discovers burnt food on the same day.'

"Here's the parking lot."

"Darn autocorrect!"

43AD: Romans invade Britain.

'Who's the new guy?'

Sphinx Comes Alive

'Sometimes I wish we'd never told him he was adopted.'