Ancient History Buff Pillows

"I may be a jackal-headed god of the underworld, Janet, but I'm also your lawyer."

"Thanks a bunch. I'll just run these by our committee and pass them along."

Not you again, Achilles.

The First Writer and Editor: 'Take out that part?! Are you nuts? How is the stampede scene at the end of the cave going to make sense without it?!'

"To be honest, the hardest part was the ISO certification."

470 BC: Socrates addresses lifes' difficult questions. "So if the player receiving the ball is past the last defender when the ball is played..."

"How do we know it's not full of consultants?"

"I always forget - is it Kirsten or Kristin?"

Early Treadmills,

Originally, Stonehenge was part of a much more ambitious project.

Occasionally, when logic and rational inferences based on experience were not enough, Plato and Aristotle would resort to settling their discourse by other means.

'Well, the boss did say we would be given a forum.'

Surf's up!

'This would make a great back massager.'

'... And looking at the extended forecast. We see the swarms of locusts moving out by the weekend just in time for another wave of burning hail.'

"Are your taxes based on usable living space or actual square footage?"

'Sure, it's a great invention, but what about liability?'

'Nobody's ordering it. With all due respect, sir-I suggest we give it an easier-to-pronounce name.'

'Who ordered the caesar salad?'

Zeus reading book titled 'Omnipotent Beings Who Do Too Much.'

'Look, I hope this isn't too much of a hassle... but I think I'd prefer a Pyramid now!'

"When I said make it RIGHT, I meant correctly."

Stone henge swing.

'He's a visionary.'

'According to my theory, if I rub these two sticks together long enough, I'll get a wheel!'

The End of the Iron Age.

The Unknown Philosopher, who first realised life is no picnic.

'Still not punchy enough. Try putting NERO all in capitals...'

Arhimedes had principles: 'I'm not getting in that bath till it's 23 degrees.'

Egyptian bowler.

"You're putting up too many walls Hadrian."

The Gods want us to get into the stock market.

'Diogenes - I'm appointing you to form an ethics committee.'

Eureka!

'Before we test this do you know how to fill out an accident report?'