Ancient Culture Buff Gifts

'Okay, folks, that's a wrap!'

"We can be proud of our little Attila. He has totally absorbed the Hun ethic."

'You ate the centerpiece,clodpate.'

'If you don't like it here, why don't you go back to Atlantis?'

Ancient football.

"As a role model for young Romans you should distance yourself from rape culture."

Roman

"Oh yes, apparently this one is a copyright symbol."

Tourists

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

Grim Reaper rowing a boat full of dead souls to the afterlife; a tip jar sits on the side of the boat.

'I'm sure he was a great guy, but there's a new Pharaoh in town.'

'I think it's more than a coincidence that I discover fire, and my wife discovers burnt food on the same day.'

An ancient Egyptian exhibit at a museum.

"A world without Ovid? I can't even begin to imagine a world without Ovid."

No time for sirtaki now, Greece!

The Fall of Gnome

A child at a museum starts to pull the wrappings off a mummy.

"When I said make it RIGHT, I meant correctly."

'What distinguishes man from the lower animals is the ability to make tools.'

"No, this is NOT a beta-test!"

Humanities 101. I hear you're reading Greek plays in there. Yeah, it's a real Medea blitz!

'Sometimes I wish we'd never told him he was adopted.'

Herding lava back to the fire pit.

Maybe the gods aren't angry. Maybe the gods are just yanking our chain.

"Take that mammoth back. It's not 'wooly' enough."

Piles of trash discarded by ancient people are a rich source of artifacts for archaeologists. I unearthed garbage dumps that advanced our understanding of prehistoric societies. On the island of Crete I found ancient trash that increased our knowledge about the Minoan people. And I recently uncovered informative Celtic rubbish. Please stop saying studying ancient cultures by what they threw away is "junk science"!

'I don't care if it's a little storage room for King Tut, you still need a building permit and contractor's license.'

"...and if you add wind-chill factor, the next plague will be even worse!"

Litter Tray Stonehenge

"At lease we managed to stop the leak before the water reached 'E' Deck."

'Why is it always me that has to put the cat out?'

"...it was believed that anyone who displeased it would meet with a terrible fate, which of course is complete nonsen..."

The Tutankhamen Expedition 1908 (The Economy Version).