Ancient Civilization Buffs Gifts

"Archaeologists discovered several enormous ancient cities buried under the jungles of Cambodia." "That means the Khmer civilization was the largest empire on earth from the 9th to the 12th centuries." "That changes everything about our conception of the Middle Ages." "What was your conception of the Middle Ages?" "Well... It was... Well, knights, maidens, dragons... Mostly dragons. And elves."

Tourists

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

"We're having one heck of a time building that trapezoidal thing of yours..."

'Shoot, this is nothing, you should have seen how good we had it back in ancient Egypt.'

'I'm sure he was a great guy, but there's a new Pharaoh in town.'

Grim Reaper rowing a boat full of dead souls to the afterlife; a tip jar sits on the side of the boat.

'Evidently, one of them was a cartoonist!'

A child at a museum starts to pull the wrappings off a mummy.

The Fall of Gnome

'I think it's more than a coincidence that I discover fire, and my wife discovers burnt food on the same day.'

6,000 BC: Neolithic Barbecue

'But this is fantastic, professor! It's like no language I've ever seen before!'

'Look, can't we just build the damn thing next to the quarry?'

"No, this is NOT a beta-test!"

Herding lava back to the fire pit.

'Who's the new guy?'

'What distinguishes man from the lower animals is the ability to make tools.'

'Sometimes I wish we'd never told him he was adopted.'

Egyptian chiropractor.

No, no, Grok, we love your creative voice! Ort is just here to do a little punch-up.

The Tutankhamen Expedition 1908 (The Economy Version).

'I think that our next door neighbor might have lived here.'

"At lease we managed to stop the leak before the water reached 'E' Deck."

'Why is it always me that has to put the cat out?'

'They're relics of the many ancient civilization that have dwelled at Blisshaven.'

"Stanley, this is a historic moment. We've discovered the world's longest kiss. Guinness Book of Records here we come!"

Unknowingly, with one swish of his blood soaked mammoth tail he was inflicting pain and suffering on billions of unborn people. Home decorating had been invented.