Ancient Civilization Buff Gifts

"Bloody foreign architects!"

'The trouble with these pyramid schemes, is that the only ones who benefit are the guy who dream them up.'

What shoddy workmanship - this road was only built 300 years ago and it already has a pot hole!"

"Ha! I didn't become the mayor of Atlantis by listening to a bunch of pesky scientists."

1069 BC: Ancient Egyptians invent the loo roll.

'That's gonna be a big job, boss.'

"Now, there's something you don't see every day."

Tourists

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

1599: Shakespeare's Agent knew what the public wanted

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

Grim Reaper rowing a boat full of dead souls to the afterlife; a tip jar sits on the side of the boat.

Cavemen Romantic Gesture

'I'm sure he was a great guy, but there's a new Pharaoh in town.'

A child at a museum starts to pull the wrappings off a mummy.

"I couldn't care less if being Homo Sapiens is the latest trend. While you're living in our cave, you better act like a true Neanderthal."

The Fall of Gnome

"Where do you think we are in the food chain right now?"

'I think it's more than a coincidence that I discover fire, and my wife discovers burnt food on the same day.'

'Sometimes I wish we'd never told him he was adopted.'

Herding lava back to the fire pit.

"No, this is NOT a beta-test!"

'Sigh! So that's what love is all about...'

The Tutankhamen Expedition 1908 (The Economy Version).

'Why is it always me that has to put the cat out?'

'I think that our next door neighbor might have lived here.'

"At lease we managed to stop the leak before the water reached 'E' Deck."

The Final Selfie

"Stanley, this is a historic moment. We've discovered the world's longest kiss. Guinness Book of Records here we come!"

"Of course you'll study Latin. How else will you learn the names of your dinosaur friends."

The simultaneous development of dining and pomposity.

A caveman kid sees his ancestor in a museum exhibit

"My goodness, no! Grandfather would never, ever let us near this!!"

'I'm not complaining or anything, but these are going to be really hard on our self-esteem!'

'This cd is Earth and Wind. There is no fire, yet.'