Analog Aficionado Gifts

'You put a round thing on a spinning plate with a needle and then you play with buttons and knobs...only old people know how to do it.'

"The projector is broken, sir. Here is a transcript of your presentation. Where do you plug it in?"

"Everything takes grandpa a little longer to do. he's analog."

Phone book.

"House sitting for Tia Zulema was the most boring Spring Break job I've ever had."

I.T. Fear

"Hi! Just a quick call to say thanks for still using a landline."

"Why aren't my photos ready YET???"

"I can't decide whether to run away or just get off the grid."

"The best thing is he works without WiFi or a data plan."

Bookstore: No chargers or batteries needed!

Cassette Deck

Looking in a directory

"Yes, that book does have a pause button. It's called a book mark."

"It's a book, dear. It doesn't need any batteries."

'...No, I'm not computer literate. I write letters with a pen occasionally writing them with a thing called a typewriter!'

The end of the cassette

'It was great! I learned how to use dial phones, drive a standard transmission and cook without a microwave...'

"I don't want a gadget that does a 1,000 things I don't need. That too much invention for my mental retention."

Although I loathe you with a passion, I've decided to put you in my will. I'm rich! On one condition. Name it. Your inheritance cannot be spent on anything that blinks, beeps, buzzes, charges, flashes … boots up, plugs in, takes batteries … Whoa, hold up … emails, downloads, texts, web-surfs, or in any way prevents you from getting out in the world and interacting in person with other human beings. It can't be spent on any of that nonsense … but … Yes? … But it does have to be walked twice a day

Oh, dear. What is that? What? A mouse? A huge gem? What? That thing. That non-digital reading device in your hand. A book? A paper book? Have you no shame, woman? Put it away. Before the children see. Non-digital reading devices are good for smacking fools!

Ahhhh! What? What is that in your hand? A book? Ahhh! Step away from the Luddite! Curse the e-reader crowd.

'Big audio gear is coming back!'

"I finally gave in, I got sick of hearing, 'Polly want a podcast?... Polly want a podcast!'"

"Midtown Vinyl. Vintage albums + EPs. Midtown Ink. Vintage books + newspapers."

'He likes a room where he can reverberate.'

Jeff Tweedy caricature.

"Do you mind? I'm in the middle of recording a podcast."

Subwoofer

Music producers.

"Welcome back to the We Were Bored and Had Nothing Else To Do podcast."

Pay me not to pay 'Wonderwall'

Man has thrown his computer aside and is writing on a typewriter.

"You bought a 1964 Chevy ragtop Impala?!"

"Brat"