Analog Geek Gifts

A man's instant camera picture falls into his soup.

I.T. Fear

"Midtown Vinyl. Vintage albums + EPs. Midtown Ink. Vintage books + newspapers."

"Nice design but you haven't quite mastered the technology!"

"We were looking for a non-hackable, energy efficient data center. Thanks for the file cabinet."

'This may be an old computer, but it won the March Madness office pool again and wants the money deposited in its Swiss bank account.'

"Yes, we still love print, don't we?"

'If you don't want to go digital, fine, but if you're going to store film in our cooler you have to save room some soda and beer."

'He's not a 'bad' phone. He's just not a 'smart' phone.'

"Don't worry Mac, I'll have that happy face back in no time."

'Stupido Digitale! Chucka me a sloppy brush, there's a gooda chap.'

Time Travelers from the 21st Century.

"It's called a mobile... but I've been here an hour and have yet to see it move."

"Aren't these old eighties phones tiny!"

"I will place this broken phone charger in the 'man' drawer. Where in six months time, it will magically fix itself."

"The best thing is he works without WiFi or a data plan."

'That's funny - the computer said we had mail..'

'But Miss, I've only just got the hang of 'the little hand' and 'the big hand'...'

"Dear diary, I'm leaving you for a Twitter account—it's not you, it's technology..."

'He's so behind the times - his Hot Line is rotary!'

"You've got to compress it because my email account is limited to 3MB."

"You fix it by buying a new one."

'Mary finally solved the blinking clock problem by putting black tape over it.'

'Real Sex is consensual non-cyber + includes conversation.'

"Has it been in your family long?"

Woman putting correction fluid on a computer screen

To continue with tech support, you must be in front of your computer and have a soldering iron, a voltmeter and a circuit tester available.

'W-R-O-N-G Voltagggeeee for a vintage machine like myself.'

BYOD issues were an even bigger problem in the 1950s.

"I can remember when all we needed was someone who could carve and someone who could sew."

"In case of emergency, do you know how to work a pencil?"

'It was great! I learned how to use dial phones, drive a standard transmission and cook without a microwave...'