Analog Enthusiasts Gifts

'That's funny - the computer said we had mail..'

I.T. Fear

"Midtown Vinyl. Vintage albums + EPs. Midtown Ink. Vintage books + newspapers."

"Our kids may like your giant soundbar, but the neighbors seem to have a different opinion."

"Nice design but you haven't quite mastered the technology!"

"We were looking for a non-hackable, energy efficient data center. Thanks for the file cabinet."

'I told you we should have gone wireless.'

"Yes, we still love print, don't we?"

'He's not a 'bad' phone. He's just not a 'smart' phone.'

'Stupido Digitale! Chucka me a sloppy brush, there's a gooda chap.'

'If you don't want to go digital, fine, but if you're going to store film in our cooler you have to save room some soda and beer."

'Access to the kids? No. I want access to the audio equipment.'

"It's called a mobile... but I've been here an hour and have yet to see it move."

"The best thing is he works without WiFi or a data plan."

'Congratulations, its a six pound audio technician.'

Ernie's Music. Ernie, you're opening a music store? Yep, I'm going to serve a niche market. I won't be selling CD's or any other digital music. I also won't be selling the old cassette or eight-track tapes. I'm only selling records. I'm catering to audiophiles who appreciate the unique sound quality they deliver. That's great! Are you going to adverties? Yeah, my tagline is "All sales vinyl"

"This CD player costs less than players selling for twice as much."

audiobooks...

"Dear diary, I'm leaving you for a Twitter account—it's not you, it's technology..."

"Hey Cruz, check out my super-powered speaker system!"

"What's wrong? Never seen earphones before?"

'But Miss, I've only just got the hang of 'the little hand' and 'the big hand'...'

'Real Sex is consensual non-cyber + includes conversation.'

VINYL HISS

Although I loathe you with a passion, I've decided to put you in my will. I'm rich! On one condition. Name it. Your inheritance cannot be spent on anything that blinks, beeps, buzzes, charges, flashes … boots up, plugs in, takes batteries … Whoa, hold up … emails, downloads, texts, web-surfs, or in any way prevents you from getting out in the world and interacting in person with other human beings. It can't be spent on any of that nonsense … but … Yes? … But it does have to be walked twice a day

sub woofer

Woman putting correction fluid on a computer screen

"In case of emergency, do you know how to work a pencil?"

Sundial Watch

'It was great! I learned how to use dial phones, drive a standard transmission and cook without a microwave...'

You'll see, Chet; sales will pick up as soon as this whole Internet fad blows over.'

'I have no idea what makes that guy tick.'

Apple-to-Orange Adapter

Born to be a Sound Engineer.

Raising the Flag on Iwo Jima