Amateur Writer Gifts

'You and Rags working together make great dinosaur finders.'

"Yup, pretty sure that was a flying squirrel."

'I'll blurb you if you'll blurb me.'

'This scholarship application is great. You must have received an A in creative writing.'

"Hurry up, I'm hungry."

Reinventing the Wheel

"The narrative seems contrived."

'This 'Palestine' place you're giving to us - Will we have the mineral rights?'

"No wonder you can't write, you're not plugged in!"

Pig philosophy class - 'I'm pink, therefore I'm ham'

'Oh man, he just nailed that triple entendre... that all but guarantees him a medal.'

'So what if you found it? Whatever it is, it belongs to ME! Now, get off my beach!'

The inscription says: 'Whiter teeth; fresher breath.'

"Writing that book was a real strain."

"Still life with fruit and terribly drawn fish"

30% Heredity, 70% Environment

Tell the author your idea for a book at 3 pm.

Man having picture of caught fish sees that cat has eaten it.

Gracie tries to invent a shrinking spray and squirts Baldo with it.

'Hold on, the play is under review.'

'My Christmas list-Chapter 1'

Turtle crashes, deploys airbag.

An association for the advancement of science on an excursion.

'Okay, this is the scene where the bear becomes a parachute.'

Flying Pen

"I just hope you had to labor as hard to write it as I did to finish it."

'I'll put one end of the hose in your pool...you take the other end outside...gravity will create a siphon and drain the water with no mess.'

Anyway I thought I'd have a go at this writing lark on the first publisher I showed my scribbles gave me a five book deal.

"That' was great - let's run though that again."

"I love your novel, and I feel that it would make excellent nesting material."

"Who gives a crap if it's not clear in 246 years?"