Amateur Linguist Gifts

"'I sent this to you through the mail to say I hope your day is swell.' What's wrong with that?"

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

Man packing suitcase with French vocabulary

"We've decided that it will be better for his later development if we speak to him only in legalese."

'I've been called some mean things as a baby boomer, but 'Pig in the Python' really hurts.'

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

Wordplay: In The Bag.

'The definition of OBSOLETE: old fashioned dictionaries.'

"Yup, pretty sure that was a flying squirrel."

'Whoooa,MAN,check out this STORM! It's PELTING down!'

'Amscray,fuzzbrain - no carnivores allowed

The Family Joules: Part 21

"I know! I know! I K-n-o-w!. . . Um, what was the question?"

'Thank goodness you were wrong mom, dad says a period is what comes at the end of a sentence.'

'Stick them up...'

Henry the amazing talking dog.

"It lost a little something in translation."

'This is the fun part...waiting to find out just what we've ordered.

'Mom and dad...if someone threw a rock at me, it would really be like killing two birds with one stone.' 'I told you if we had a child, he'd be a wise-quacker.'

'I made a hundred on the Spanish test. Gracias.'

His Hers Pers Vis Xyrs Hirs TBD

"Wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . ."

"Oui, c'est bon. It is, how you Americans say, 'Magically Delicious'."

We Will Beat Any Genuine Quote...

'Come on Jill, they say the water's well good.'

Staff Yearbook

'Alphabet soup? What's alphabet?'

'That's far enough for the first trip -- gather some soil samples and initiate re-entry procedures.'

Raphnrrf? Raphnrrf? Umpha? Frfee? Maamr? Pick.

Two vending machines for fisherman: 'Live Bait' next to 'Dead as a Doornail Bait'

Say it with flowers - available in any language.

Turkey to human dictionary - 'Quiet!!! You don't realize what you're saying!'

'Do it write the first time.'

'In today's market hyperbole was up sharply. Similes and metaphors held relatively steady with euphemisms hitting another record low.'