Amateur Filmmaker Gifts

'Okay, this is the scene where the bear becomes a parachute.'

Man films uses phone camera. Woman says: 'I fail to see how filming the cat makes you a citizen journalist.'

Wife uploading film of snoring husband onto Youtube.

Home Video

'Hold on, the play is under review.'

"I'm sorry I can't do it tonight. The powers off"

"Hurry up, I'm hungry."

The team video didn't spotlight my talents. I've hired my own film crew. They'll showcase my skills so college recruiters can see my strengths. Wow! How can the director pack so much into one little video? Great point! Daddy? Tell Steven Spielberg we're going feature length. Nice save!

A father films his family while imagining himself as a director

"Mom! Kathy's feeding her liver to the dog! Want to see the video?"

"It's not so bad! But I DO have to sleep on my side. . .2

"What I did on my summer vacation and how I optioned it to Miramax..."

"Still life with fruit and terribly drawn fish"

"My report on summer vacation. . . Book and movie rights are available for $1000 each."

"They say she's gone completely Sundance."

I'm making the definitive sledding video.

'Congratulations. All but one of you has been short listed.'

"… and once you've finished advanced infantry training, you'll be assigned to film school."

Man having picture of caught fish sees that cat has eaten it.

Fish uses its gill to block straw cat is using to remove water from a fish bowl.

Cat Video Cinema.

"And now it's time for the 0'Malley family remake of Battleship Potemkin!"

'It's not fair 'Bogie'...they took away my video camera...did you ever hear them say anything about not hiding behind the shower curtain and filming visitors on the can?'

'He always takes Charades very seriously.'

Filming the Crocodile.

"Oh, pardon me. That's not the menu , that's my screenplay."

"Action! And this time believe!"

"All this just to take a selfy!"

Bad Santa.

'Billy, how many times have I told you to get your thumb out of your mouth? Betty, for heaven's sake, brush your hair out of your eyes.' 'An annoying auto-focus camera.'

'As you see, the wine breaks down the veal and the vegetables almost immediately--as for your lens cover, I can't really say.'

'But what I'd really like to do is direct.'

'Promise to tell the truth, including the parts you'd prefer to keep for an upcoming book or movie deal?'

'That wasn't the home movie. That was the trailer.'

Movies made for under eight million dollars.