Amateur Filmmaker Gifts

'Okay, this is the scene where the bear becomes a parachute.'

Man films uses phone camera. Woman says: 'I fail to see how filming the cat makes you a citizen journalist.'

Home Video

'Hold on, the play is under review.'

"I'm sorry I can't do it tonight. The powers off"

"Hurry up, I'm hungry."

A father films his family while imagining himself as a director

"Mom! Kathy's feeding her liver to the dog! Want to see the video?"

"It's not so bad! But I DO have to sleep on my side. . .2

"What I did on my summer vacation and how I optioned it to Miramax..."

"Still life with fruit and terribly drawn fish"

"My report on summer vacation. . . Book and movie rights are available for $1000 each."

"They say she's gone completely Sundance."

Man having picture of caught fish sees that cat has eaten it.

Fish uses its gill to block straw cat is using to remove water from a fish bowl.

"… and once you've finished advanced infantry training, you'll be assigned to film school."

'Congratulations. All but one of you has been short listed.'

"And now it's time for the 0'Malley family remake of Battleship Potemkin!"

'It's not fair 'Bogie'...they took away my video camera...did you ever hear them say anything about not hiding behind the shower curtain and filming visitors on the can?'

'He always takes Charades very seriously.'

Filming the Crocodile.

"Oh, pardon me. That's not the menu , that's my screenplay."

"Action! And this time believe!"

Bad Santa.

"All this just to take a selfy!"

"That was very interesting, Aubrey, but this is Show & Tell, not Kiss & Tell time."

'Billy, how many times have I told you to get your thumb out of your mouth? Betty, for heaven's sake, brush your hair out of your eyes.' 'An annoying auto-focus camera.'

'That wasn't the home movie. That was the trailer.'

'As you see, the wine breaks down the veal and the vegetables almost immediately--as for your lens cover, I can't really say.'

'But what I'd really like to do is direct.'

'Promise to tell the truth, including the parts you'd prefer to keep for an upcoming book or movie deal?'

"Tiffany tells me you were at Sundance."

Movies made for under eight million dollars.

'If that tongue leaves your mouth I'm gonna cut it off.'

"This is going to be a great video!"