Amateur Artist Gifts

"Still life with fruit and terribly drawn fish"

"The technique is good, but somehow I feel that the artist didn't take enough time observing the subject."

Painting by the numbers for adults

I'm looking forward tot he day we can afford some real statues for this place.

"Hurry up, I'm hungry."

'And now, please stand and join us as complete amateur butchers our national anthem.'

"Darling, I never realised how talented you weren't!"

"It all starts with them having you fetch their slippers."

Young lady telling a young man he is not singing low enough.

Fish uses its gill to block straw cat is using to remove water from a fish bowl.

'Hold on, the play is under review.'

Man having picture of caught fish sees that cat has eaten it.

'People say I don't listen to other's opinions. That's not true, is it Binky?'

'You did that on purpose!'

'Okay, this is the scene where the bear becomes a parachute.'

"On the downstairs freezer, you can view some of my earlier work."

'He always takes Charades very seriously.'

'Seriously, your ululation is good enough for American Idol.'

"He sings for charity. He has to. Nobody offers to pay him."

"That' was great - let's run though that again."

Spring Cleaning

Wife uploading film of snoring husband onto Youtube.

"All this just to take a selfy!"

Home Video

Sketchy Neighborhood

Bad Santa.

'That wasn't the home movie. That was the trailer.'

'Billy, how many times have I told you to get your thumb out of your mouth? Betty, for heaven's sake, brush your hair out of your eyes.' 'An annoying auto-focus camera.'

"She was an excellent model, but her mother simply couldn't learn to trust me."

'If that tongue leaves your mouth I'm gonna cut it off.'

A minister forgetfully slipping into his other role as a photographer

"I always thought I had a novel in me, but now I think may be something a little shorter!"

Open Mic Night

"I'm just doing this temporarily. Our usual police artist is off sick."

Citizen journalist Rudy Park with a question. Make it quick. Are you and Cort going together to heard Sean Hannity speak? We're sharing a car. Citizen journalist Rudy Park with a follow-up. Just one. Is it a date? Come clean! The people must know! What people?