Amateur Cartoonist Gifts

'If that tongue leaves your mouth I'm gonna cut it off.'

Bad Santa.

Fish uses its gill to block straw cat is using to remove water from a fish bowl.

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

Trump Administration Raising White Flag in Ukraine

"Hulk no can be mad at Mr. Puppy Face"

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

Can You Spot the Differences?

"Again? This is the last time I'm letting you wear the pants with the little zipper."

"We only got six days of funding."

"We seem to be spending more on defence than on things to defend"

Torturing the English Language

CSI: Mother Goose Unit...'Hmmm...I'm beginning to suspect that perhaps mister Dumpty's demise wasn't simply a tragic accident.'

"Either that's Marmaduke with a lizard's head in front of us, or I really mixed up my meds."

Trump pardons

Claus 2.0

'Some of those youngsters have come up with a terrific new idea - feathers.'

Sure, he likes it here - he's a cartoonist.

The aliens froze, gripped by a primal fear. This time there would be no abduction.

You Are Here - Uncle Sam's Exit Strategy

'Run, run, as fast as you can!'

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

Donald Trump Removing Aggressor Label From Vladimir Putin

"The hyenas started it."

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Part Thirty Four

"Elementary, my dear Watson- the cartoonist did it."

Where Indian ink came from.

"Don’t worry, this guy is totally cool. Just don’t mention the Red Baron."

Shampoo.

"Er – if you young people don't mind, I have a few things to do now. Perhaps you have a hotel or somewhere to go?"

"You've changed."

"The best part is that we got hell to pay for it."