Amateur Musician Gifts

Spring Cleaning

"Hurry up, I'm hungry."

'And now, please stand and join us as complete amateur butchers our national anthem.'

"The instructions for the beer-making kit you gave me? Didn't need them -- I figured it out for myself. Drink up."

"One more rinse and the inside of your car will be clean too, Dad."

"Those are the lyrics? How embarrassing—I've been singing it wrong this whole time."

"Darling, I never realised how talented you weren't!"

When Tia Carmen says... "A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner" it means "I can fix it with a hammer."

For the last time, Bobby, I told you – every other person gets the red cup with the placebo. Lemonade 50¢.

"If there is no more American Idol what am I going to do to become famous?"

Young lady telling a young man he is not singing low enough.

"Still life with fruit and terribly drawn fish"

"No, first you have to evolve into a man, then you can have a man-cave."

"I'm Walter Grimes and I approve this drink."

Man having picture of caught fish sees that cat has eaten it.

Gracie tries to invent a shrinking spray and squirts Baldo with it.

He spends all weekend under the stupid thing, but I don't think he's really fixing anything.

'People say I don't listen to other's opinions. That's not true, is it Binky?'

"Keep it up Kevin, you're really improving."

'I'll put one end of the hose in your pool...you take the other end outside...gravity will create a siphon and drain the water with no mess.'

"He sings for charity. He has to. Nobody offers to pay him."

'Seriously, your ululation is good enough for American Idol.'

"That' was great - let's run though that again."

'Billy, how many times have I told you to get your thumb out of your mouth? Betty, for heaven's sake, brush your hair out of your eyes.' 'An annoying auto-focus camera.'

'That wasn't the home movie. That was the trailer.'

"All this just to take a selfy!"

"The only thing that can save it now is a really bad glee club!!"

Craft A Yummy, Grammable Cocktail.

"I got the blues in the mornin', I got the blues at night..."

"A new study reveals this is ACTUALLY what you've been chasing."

Workaholic and alcoholic

"The technique is good, but somehow I feel that the artist didn't take enough time observing the subject."

A minister forgetfully slipping into his other role as a photographer

"No more for me, thanks - I have to denigrate his driving."

"I always thought I had a novel in me, but now I think may be something a little shorter!"