Amateur Singers Gifts

"Those are the lyrics? How embarrassing—I've been singing it wrong this whole time."

Randall couldn't wait to see what else the 'Magic Trash Can' could make disappear.

"Again? This is the last time I'm letting you wear the pants with the little zipper."

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

"Hurry up, I'm hungry."

"The instructions for the beer-making kit you gave me? Didn't need them -- I figured it out for myself. Drink up."

Newark by Night. A new Dutch restaurant just opened. What do you know about Dutch cuisine? Nothing. But I'm a big fan of the "Dutch Treat" concept.

'And now, please stand and join us as complete amateur butchers our national anthem.'

"Darling, I never realised how talented you weren't!"

"If there is no more American Idol what am I going to do to become famous?"

"If I wanted your opinion I would have hauled you in for questioning."

"He can never take anything serious. Everything's a joke."

"Well they are fake ducks, Honey, but not quite decoyish enough."

Young lady telling a young man he is not singing low enough.

"Still life with fruit and terribly drawn fish"

Ventriloquism For Beginners.

"Ahhh! Ha-ha! Exactly what I said when I was pulled over. Dipstick!"

"Repeat after me... We are vegan... We are vegan..."

Canoeing Incorrectly

Man having picture of caught fish sees that cat has eaten it.

'People say I don't listen to other's opinions. That's not true, is it Binky?'

'You can't come in to play unless you wear cushions on your feet - My Dad's got a headache!'

"Maybe you just can't tell a joke."

"He sings for charity. He has to. Nobody offers to pay him."

'Seriously, your ululation is good enough for American Idol.'

"That' was great - let's run though that again."

Spring Cleaning

"The only thing that can save it now is a really bad glee club!!"

"Dad! I didn't know you were a boxer!"

'Billy, how many times have I told you to get your thumb out of your mouth? Betty, for heaven's sake, brush your hair out of your eyes.' 'An annoying auto-focus camera.'

"I got the blues in the mornin', I got the blues at night..."

"I didn't send for a music teacher."

"It just started as a list of his faults, and just evolved into a horror novel."

"Morning! Are the fish biting?"

"All this just to take a selfy!"