Amateur Storytellers Gifts

"I had a huge crush on him, he was so handsome, but then this girl kissed him and he transformed into a human: I was heart-broken..."

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

"...and the humans turned Neville into 80,000 toothpicks..."

Mom, there's a simple explanation for this...Aliens from outer space.

"Finally, the alphabet is paying off."

Pastries and Candy

"You know who's tougher than all your little superheroes? The fossil fuel industry."

Romeo & Juliet & Ron

Eurydice is bitten by a snake

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

"I don't see a destination called 'Veganville' sir."

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

'Are we there yet?'

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'

"You think two weeks in isolation is hard?"

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

See, Catty-O? I told you dinner was included with admission.

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

Noah's life jacket demonstration

'He was a great writer'

'Fyodor Dostoevsky sends weeks describing Alexy Karamazov's quest for a white whale, and then discards the entire chapter."

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

Cinderella and Charming the Clown

'Wait a minute! What if this isn't just a puddle?! What if it's a huge, furious hibernating snowman?'

Man takes picutre of other man holding up huge worm at Bait Shop.

Cat scratches on a pirate's wooden leg.

'We have to forfeit, Three of our players got squashed on the way over here,'

It started friendly enough...'I'm Henry VIII, my dear, but you may call me 'Hank'.'

'And the wicked stepmother looked into her smartphone and said, "Selfie, selfie in my face, who's the fairest in this place?"

"So you're just now tellin' me I was hatched from an egg and I coulda' left years ago?!?"

Jorge Luis Borges

Hansel and Gretal