Amateur Storytellers Gifts

"I had a huge crush on him, he was so handsome, but then this girl kissed him and he transformed into a human: I was heart-broken..."

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

Victor Hugo

"...and the humans turned Neville into 80,000 toothpicks..."

Mom, there's a simple explanation for this...Aliens from outer space.

"Finally, the alphabet is paying off."

"You know who's tougher than all your little superheroes? The fossil fuel industry."

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

Eurydice is bitten by a snake

Pastries and Candy

Romeo & Juliet & Ron

Home Sweet Home

"I don't see a destination called 'Veganville' sir."

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

'Are we there yet?'

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

See, Catty-O? I told you dinner was included with admission.

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'

"You think two weeks in isolation is hard?"

Noah's life jacket demonstration

'He was a great writer'

'Fyodor Dostoevsky sends weeks describing Alexy Karamazov's quest for a white whale, and then discards the entire chapter."

'Wait a minute! What if this isn't just a puddle?! What if it's a huge, furious hibernating snowman?'

Hansel and Gretal

"This is what's known as a book."

Cat scratches on a pirate's wooden leg.

It started friendly enough...'I'm Henry VIII, my dear, but you may call me 'Hank'.'

Man takes picutre of other man holding up huge worm at Bait Shop.

Jorge Luis Borges

'And the wicked stepmother looked into her smartphone and said, "Selfie, selfie in my face, who's the fairest in this place?"

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

Cinderella and Charming the Clown

"So you're just now tellin' me I was hatched from an egg and I coulda' left years ago?!?"