Amateur Journalist Gifts

Citizen journalist Rudy Park with a question. Make it quick. Are you and Cort going together to heard Sean Hannity speak? We're sharing a car. Citizen journalist Rudy Park with a follow-up. Just one. Is it a date? Come clean! The people must know! What people?

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

"Yup, pretty sure that was a flying squirrel."

"Hurry up, I'm hungry."

"This is a hell of a way to start a magazine."

For the last time, Bobby, I told you – every other person gets the red cup with the placebo. Lemonade 50¢.

'I have a bad feeling about this place, Watson... and I smell a rat!'

'I've written a poem describing my feelings on discovering the body, Inspector...'

'I'm going to ask you one more time; who left a hot mug on this table?'

Optician and the PI.

"That's not the stick, it's a blood-stained satchel full of money... but hey, good boy!"

"Still life with fruit and terribly drawn fish"

"No, first you have to evolve into a man, then you can have a man-cave."

"I'm getting dangerously close to figuring out what I did last night."

"This is Sally Whitgart on TV -- We now switch you to Bart Fribledale on the Internet...."

Turtle crashes, deploys airbag.

Man having picture of caught fish sees that cat has eaten it.

"Gracie, I'm getting way tired of your Jane Goodall routine!"

Gracie tries to invent a shrinking spray and squirts Baldo with it.

'Hold on, the play is under review.'

Fish uses its gill to block straw cat is using to remove water from a fish bowl.

"So which bit do you think was 'nature' and which 'nurture'?"

'Nice try buddy, but we know the score. You were involved, but you only played a small part. What we want to know is who orchestrated this thing.'

'Okay, this is the scene where the bear becomes a parachute.'

"Sorry about the disguise.But we've had to reduce our budget for the 'witness protection programme'."

'I'll put one end of the hose in your pool...you take the other end outside...gravity will create a siphon and drain the water with no mess.'

Who reports on the reporters?

'So we print it every four years. What do you call that?'

'He always takes Charades very seriously.'

"That outfit is a nasty mix of stripes and patterns."

Career center: 'I'm planning to replace Katie Couric when she retires!'

Old lady spying on the neighbours using a webcam.

"Who gives a crap if it's not clear in 246 years?"

Spring Cleaning