Alternative Beauty Fan Gifts

Man on tube using dreadlock as support.

Punk Reindeer

"I feel bad for the companies that make lipstick."

'Maybe a helium boob job wasn't such a good idea,babe!'

"Hair spray"

"Ernie's full service salon and day spa."

Tough Teddies

'I wouldn't bother. They're probably gluten-free vegetarians.'

'Botox.'

'I succumbed to pierce pressure.'

'Medium well, please.'

'Naw, man! I ain't never worked in no animal hospital...'

"Looks like Mom is practicing getting her mask ready for Halloween tomorrow."

'We've been tailgating so long, I think we might be homeless.'

Rabbit has cosmetically enhanced teeth: 'I always said that when I could afford to I'd get them fixed.'

'Well if you can't make me look like Cameron Diaz, just re-apply my lipstick and touch-up my mascara thanks.'

When he saw her first strands of grey hair he thought she'd dye.

Crusty Bread

"It's actually an ink stain but my wife has grown quite fond of it."

"You've been ages,dear-but never mind I've been patiently waiting in the pub accross the road!"

'It's an easy product to sell. We just have patients view themselves in high def.'

"My secretary just made me aware of the necessity of investing in the beauty industry."

"I heard raising your grandkids can help keep you young. Please tell me there's an easier way."

Eventually, a point is reached where even the best cosmetic surgery begins to look more like taxidermy gone horribly wrong.

Week three, things started to get ugly.

Bloomer Wax: 4 Pence

'Honey, I need some money for a facial: I need to look my best with all these photo safaris around...'

'Silicone implant ward.'

"You mean to say you haven't even put your face on yet?"

How I feel with....liquid matte lipstick, lip gloss and chapped bare lips.

Cosmetics keep men from reading between the lines.

"I started plucking my eyebrows, and I couldn't stop..."

"May be I should part my hair on the right."

'Charlene had never thought of herself as beautiful, but..well...mirrors don't lie.'