Alternative Beauty Fan Gifts

Man on tube using dreadlock as support.

Punk Reindeer

'Maybe a helium boob job wasn't such a good idea,babe!'

"I feel bad for the companies that make lipstick."

"Ernie's full service salon and day spa."

"Hair spray"

Tough Teddies

'I wouldn't bother. They're probably gluten-free vegetarians.'

'Botox.'

'Medium well, please.'

'I succumbed to pierce pressure.'

"Looks like Mom is practicing getting her mask ready for Halloween tomorrow."

'Naw, man! I ain't never worked in no animal hospital...'

'We've been tailgating so long, I think we might be homeless.'

Rabbit has cosmetically enhanced teeth: 'I always said that when I could afford to I'd get them fixed.'

'Well if you can't make me look like Cameron Diaz, just re-apply my lipstick and touch-up my mascara thanks.'

"It's actually an ink stain but my wife has grown quite fond of it."

'It's an easy product to sell. We just have patients view themselves in high def.'

Crusty Bread

"You've been ages,dear-but never mind I've been patiently waiting in the pub accross the road!"

When he saw her first strands of grey hair he thought she'd dye.

"My secretary just made me aware of the necessity of investing in the beauty industry."

"I heard raising your grandkids can help keep you young. Please tell me there's an easier way."

Week three, things started to get ugly.

Eventually, a point is reached where even the best cosmetic surgery begins to look more like taxidermy gone horribly wrong.

How I feel with....liquid matte lipstick, lip gloss and chapped bare lips.

Carrie White found a manicurist who makes house calls.

Cosmetics keep men from reading between the lines.

'Honey, I need some money for a facial: I need to look my best with all these photo safaris around...'

'Silicone implant ward.'

Bloomer Wax: 4 Pence

"You mean to say you haven't even put your face on yet?"

"I started plucking my eyebrows, and I couldn't stop..."

Marilyn Manson

"May be I should part my hair on the right."