Vintage Beauty Fan Gifts

Ages ago, during a special episode of the Ask Sadie

Best before 65 million BC.

'I met him on a Monday and my heart stood still (would you believe?)')

Instructions for Bow Tie Wearers

"I feel bad for the companies that make lipstick."

"If she's a write off can you let me know the scrap value?"

Adult Barbershop

"Ernie's full service salon and day spa."

The Dandy

'..It's just that with all your amazing powers of deduction and elimination, Holmes, I'm just a little surprised that the best solution you can come up with for seeing off the hound of the Baskervilles, is to 'chase them across the moors with a hoover. up

Hairstyles

Robert Mitchum

'It's called a 'hat' -- you tip it to women instead of hitting them over the head with a club.'

Carole Lombard

'Now I know why they called this airco model 'Marilyn Monroe'.'

Tea and Sugar Rationing

A gentleman giving some children a lesson in manners

'Dang it! The gals out here leave little to a feller's imagination.'

'Dauber Micawber'

Victorian Secret

Masked Ball

Elvis' autopsy

Rabbit has cosmetically enhanced teeth: 'I always said that when I could afford to I'd get them fixed.'

Man on tube using dreadlock as support.

"I love your shadow, it's so retro."

"I can't right now. My spurs are stuck together."

"They listen to weird music, dress funny and you don't dare go into the bathroom after they've been in there!"

'We need your exact age...'Woodstock Generation' isn't specific enough.'

Eventually, a point is reached where even the best cosmetic surgery begins to look more like taxidermy gone horribly wrong.

"We didn't spot any of the birds we were looking for, but we did have an Elvis sighting."

Purple dress

Bloomer Wax: 4 Pence

'He's a little old fashion, but it's his love for red meat that bothers me.'

Carrie White found a manicurist who makes house calls.

How I feel with....liquid matte lipstick, lip gloss and chapped bare lips.