Beauty Fan Gifts

Eventually, a point is reached where even the best cosmetic surgery begins to look more like taxidermy gone horribly wrong.

It's the Vikings and the Avon lady not due until tomorrow!"

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

Bad hair day!

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

Pampered and poodled.

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

Dating is so expensive...

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

Emergency numbers on a telephone.

'Wrinkles can't breathe in mud.'

Could you see anything in her? I certainly couldn't! (Man's eyes are popping out of his head).

What price beauty?

"I don't like your application."

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

'Maybe I should get a shopping cart.'

'This facial cream is called 'High Definition'...it brings out beauty in sharp, wonderful detail.'

"I feel bad for the companies that make lipstick."

'Maybe a helium boob job wasn't such a good idea,babe!'

"Who's a pretty girl now?"

'I'm not begging, I've just painted my claws.'

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

"I'm not trying to be beautiful, I'm only trying to look better than everyone else there."

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

Beauty salon - Our hair color is to dye for!

New Twenty Blades

It was time for a little bit of lady admin

"Hair spray"

"Remember when we were Instagram models?"

'I'm still hot. It just comes in flashes now.'

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

"We're having a make up test at school. Can I borrow your mascara?"

'Here's my fail proof way to restore a youthful appearance - a 30 watt bulb.'

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"