Alternative Fashion Fan Gifts

'Surely we can settle this like Civilized People!'

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

"Wheel, schmeel—check these babies out!"

Instructions for Bow Tie Wearers

Jarvis Cocker

Punk Reindeer

I like this one. Do you have it in blue?

"He's deliciously vintage."

'We're the first film ever in HD 3-D DOUBLE D!'

'Ouwth! Bid my tong!'

Elton John

The Dandy

Punkins

"This afternoon, we'll be turning our attention to Guess jeans."

"I'm pretty sure the middle-aged upper-arm jiggle is the one thing there's not a niche market for."

Woman and a Mexican hat.

Bernice Mountain Dog

"Trust me, detainee orange is going to be huge this fall."

'I wouldn't bother. They're probably gluten-free vegetarians.'

Tough Teddies

Who'd have guessed that the season's mast have item would be big springy shoes.

"I believe in consistent branding."

An Old-Timer/An Old Codger/An Old Geezer

'It's called a 'hat' -- you tip it to women instead of hitting them over the head with a club.'

'What do you mean - you want a white wedding?'

No offense intended your honor…It just seemed like this case screamed for a frivolous law suit…

Strange man has a nose monocle.

Marilyn Monroe

Builders fashion range

'I succumbed to pierce pressure.'

'After we had him declawed he started taking on a tougher persona to compensate.'

Masked Ball

Victorian Secret

'Dang it! The gals out here leave little to a feller's imagination.'

'I can't understand it, every time I wear a tuxedo, I wake up the next day with a blinding headache.'