Alpaca Breeder Gifts

Alpaca winning Premium Wool Championship.

'I know you're really proud, dear. But, don't you think people might think you're bragging?'

"The Lord works in mysterious ways, I mean, alpacas? What are they? It’s like Bob Seger mated with a llama."

'He's a superior breed - He always drinks thru' a straw!'

"Maureen Alsop is leaving her magnolia, and her delphinium and her cats with us this weekend."

'What has twelve legs and barks?'

'Well, they're just great for running down gazelles and jackals!'

'Do you have anything a little longer in the leg ?'

'Another blond hair! You've been making a lot of night calls lately...'

'Sorry Ben, I never noticed the baby-sitting clause in the stud contract.'

Puppies

"His father came from a family of climbers."

"You are going to have lots of puppies."

Good, but not Great Danes.

Standard Poodle/Substandard Poodle

"Congratulations. It's a litter."

'I understand you don't have a resume but you do have your pedigree papers?'

Standard Poodle/Substandard Poodle

'Perhaps you'd like to explain this,'

Matador Artificial Insemination.

Dog Show: Worst of Breed

An inbred poodle.

"We have no problem if you fall asleep on the job. In fact, we expect it."

'He's a very superior dog. Even his fleas have pedigrees!'

'I remember, Fido, winning isn't the only thing...there are also stud fees.'

"The guy I bought him from says he's a pure sheepdog."

"They were bred originally to be hors d'oeuvres."

Botox sharpei

'My husband's just getting some ready to show you.'

"She's a Malaysian Longhair, but we don't know what."

Best in Heat.

Cat Show: Most Arrogant

A man and woman giving their mating dogs some privacy.