Alpaca Breeder Pillows

Alpaca winning Premium Wool Championship.

'I know you're really proud, dear. But, don't you think people might think you're bragging?'

"The Lord works in mysterious ways, I mean, alpacas? What are they? It’s like Bob Seger mated with a llama."

'He's a superior breed - He always drinks thru' a straw!'

"Maureen Alsop is leaving her magnolia, and her delphinium and her cats with us this weekend."

'What has twelve legs and barks?'

'Well, they're just great for running down gazelles and jackals!'

'Another blond hair! You've been making a lot of night calls lately...'

'Do you have anything a little longer in the leg ?'

Puppies

"His father came from a family of climbers."

'Sorry Ben, I never noticed the baby-sitting clause in the stud contract.'

"You are going to have lots of puppies."

Dog Calenders.

"Congratulations. It's a litter."

Good, but not Great Danes.

Standard Poodle/Substandard Poodle

'It's a bloody-cross-breed.'

'He's an octopussy. They're specially bred to catch over 100 mice an hour.'

'I understand you don't have a resume but you do have your pedigree papers?'

Standard Poodle/Substandard Poodle

Matador Artificial Insemination.

Dog Show: Worst of Breed

'Perhaps you'd like to explain this,'

"We have no problem if you fall asleep on the job. In fact, we expect it."

An inbred poodle.

'He's a very superior dog. Even his fleas have pedigrees!'

'I remember, Fido, winning isn't the only thing...there are also stud fees.'

"The guy I bought him from says he's a pure sheepdog."

"They were bred originally to be hors d'oeuvres."

'My husband's just getting some ready to show you.'

Botox sharpei

Cat Show: Most Arrogant

Best in Heat.

'One thing, however - if they DO bite you, you don't suffer!'