Alpaca Admirers Pillows

The three semi-wise men actually rode alpacas and carried knitted gifts of sweaters, sox and underwear to the arid desert village of Bethlehem...

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

"The Lord works in mysterious ways, I mean, alpacas? What are they? It’s like Bob Seger mated with a llama."

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

Kangaroo mom to child, 'We're not going anywhere until you buckle-up, young man.'

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

"Not to brag or anything, but I'm the elephant in the room at my company."

'Of course you're out of gas. You forgot to fill up at the last stop...maybe this will teach you to stop daydreaming.'

"I didn't really start applying myself seriously until around the eighth life."

Elephant ass selfie.

"I thought you were getting me a dog?"

"Only one of my lives was a bowl of cherries."

Bob realised that he'd had his binoculars back to front.

'Yes, the baby should arrive soon: Her nesting instinct is in overdrive!'

"Man, these closed book exams suck! Who could possibly remember all this crap?"

Table Of The Elephants

Yakety-Yak

'And though he died during the hunt, we can only assume that George L Jones would want this new species of butt-faced clown monkey to forever bear his name.'

'You did remember the condoms didn't you?'

"Is your dog friendly?"

"You finished with your peanuts?"

'Jumbo waits for the tusk fairy'

"When you said you wanted to bring a pet to work, I thought you meant a DOG!"

The sad case of the blind-men and the elephant.

"now let's try one without the tusks."

Dog TagsPeople Tags.

Replacements for Extinct Animals

I see braces in his future.

(Overachieving Dog) (Just get me the paper and let Mr. Rather go!)

Red riding hood giving the wolf a complex

'I hope you don't mind, dear — I got my ears pierced.'

'Sorry, but I do not recall that incident either.'

Elephant Trunk and Hose Pipe.

Self driving car containing a baby elephant

"They've been walking like this since they watched that documentary on elephants."