Chicken Breeder Pillows

'Chicken Breeder Monthly'

Bobby-Ray tries to become a chicken breeder

'I know you're really proud, dear. But, don't you think people might think you're bragging?'

"The Lord works in mysterious ways, I mean, alpacas? What are they? It’s like Bob Seger mated with a llama."

The Rooster Comedian.

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

Silence of the Chickens...

'He's a superior breed - He always drinks thru' a straw!'

'What has twelve legs and barks?'

'That'll teach the pesky python to be greedy and eat all my chickens!'

Thrift: New way to eat eggs (avoid needless transport costs).

'Another blond hair! You've been making a lot of night calls lately...'

'Do you have anything a little longer in the leg ?'

'Well, they're just great for running down gazelles and jackals!'

'Take my advice kid. Enjoy yourself now, because once you get married, your free ranging days are over.'

'Sorry Ben, I never noticed the baby-sitting clause in the stud contract.'

"Hurray! I just got born!"

Puppies

"His father came from a family of climbers."

Man lets his pigeons out to be fed in the park.

"You are going to have lots of puppies."

'This race is simply too close to call.'

Seminal moments in Chicken History

Standard Poodle/Substandard Poodle

"Well, it's the same old story, we just don't squark anymore."

'It's a bloody-cross-breed.'

'He's an octopussy. They're specially bred to catch over 100 mice an hour.'

'It's a kit I found online. I converted the car so it runs entirely on chicken manure.'

Good, but not Great Danes.

Dogs and Chickens

"Congratulations. It's a litter."

'Honey, the babysitter's here.'

"Yeah, our garden is always a mess: We can't stop ourselves foraging for worms..."

"Babies come from WHERE?!"

A bit of Newlyn.