Alien Abduction Theorist Gifts

'I'd steer clear of them on the forth of July!'

"You left this on our ship."

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

Alien Assumption

"I've been genetically modified!"

Elevator Music

'Take me to your computer.'

Pentagon Science Contest: '...It's a contest by the pentagon. They're gonna pay out half a million bucks to someone who comes up with the best idea on how people could travel to another solar system.'

"There's a cure—but it's light-years away."

'Take me to your auto body shop.'

'If this drilling goes on they are going to find my stash of Martian Dollars I buried as a hedge against inflation.'

Dustbin monster.

"Shoulda brought the weed."

"Says he's one of the MacMartian Clan."

'Remember when the authorities were notified when we were spotted? Now nobody cares. They think we're drones.'

"No threat detected. Their vast resources are spent on lasers that combat wrinkles and unwanted hair."

Stranger in Strange Land's End Catalog

"Honey, look-those are the tiles I was thinking about for the kitchen."

Robot Attack in Bath

'...and then these two-eyed creatures took me from my spaceship to a four-wheeled vehicle. Nobody believes me. But you do, don't you doc?'

'Oh, nothing's wrong -- I just expected Earthlings to be taller, that's all.'

Any news on that star that might have a Dyson sphere around it? Nothing new. I mean, they discovered the star's probably been dimming ever since 1890, which could lend credence to the notion an alien race has been building a Dyson sphere. By they discovered that a few months ago. There's been nothing since then, so ... whatever. Must be nothing there. They should do a study to see how long it takes your attention span to dim. What? Why? What're we talking about?

Another archaeological site where some believe ancients had help from aliens.

Cows make terrible superheroes

'Your resume certainly includes a lot of UFO abductions....'

"Take us to your most influential power couple."

'Of course we're not going to experiment on you. We needed another hand for our bridge game.'

'Graze in perfect circles. It drives people crazy.'

Above a fisherman a flying saucer hovers dangling a worm on a hook.

Alien Shopping List: Milk, Bread, Bin Bags, Earthling.

"Take us to your leader!"

"Sir, there's a crack in our lens!"

"Oh, wow....this is cool! What are you making?"

I knew we didn't have enough blocks for this thing.'

'We're not going to Roswell again, it's such a tourist trap.'