Alien Theorist Gifts

'Of course we're not going to experiment on you. We needed another hand for our bridge game.'

I knew we didn't have enough blocks for this thing.'

'Remember when the authorities were notified when we were spotted? Now nobody cares. They think we're drones.'

"Flying saucer-shaped unidentified cigar"

Pentagon Science Contest: '...It's a contest by the pentagon. They're gonna pay out half a million bucks to someone who comes up with the best idea on how people could travel to another solar system.'

Levi discovers the secret behind flying saucers, as well as how the Gods spend much of their recreation time.

Sun Times: UFO Sighting Hoax

'You may find a few things have evolved since we abducted you for our research.'

'Take me to your computer.'

Neanderthal Cave Art Discovered

"You're quite the pick up artist!"

Alien Shopping List: Milk, Bread, Bin Bags, Earthling.

"Something very big buried a lot of bones here."

"You left this on our ship."

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

Alien Assumption

Elevator Music

"There's a cure—but it's light-years away."

'Take me to your auto body shop.'

Dustbin monster.

'If this drilling goes on they are going to find my stash of Martian Dollars I buried as a hedge against inflation.'

"Shoulda brought the weed."

UFO and snowman

'Sorry, I'm a stranger here myself.'

Crop Circle: Meet the Author

Robot Attack in Bath

"No threat detected. Their vast resources are spent on lasers that combat wrinkles and unwanted hair."

'...and then these two-eyed creatures took me from my spaceship to a four-wheeled vehicle. Nobody believes me. But you do, don't you doc?'

"How's it going with the human cloning?"

"Take us to your most influential power couple."

'Your resume certainly includes a lot of UFO abductions....'

"They discovered an Earthlike planet, and it's close." "Earthlike?" "Does it have oceans and beaches and sensual ladies who like to gaze at sunsets?" "It may have liquid water. And it's orbiting a red dwarf, so it'll always look like sunset." "But is there anyone there to whisper sweet nothings to?" "I know a guy at NASA. If they send a probe, maybe he could add your dating profile."

'Oh, nothing's wrong -- I just expected Earthlings to be taller, that's all.'

Another archaeological site where some believe ancients had help from aliens.

'Graze in perfect circles. It drives people crazy.'