Alien Conspiracy Theorist Gifts

CBS documentation claiming George Bush is an alien.

'Here we go again...'

'If you can hear this you have been abducted.'

*Translation: "M'eh-lahni-ah... your mission begins. Depart for 'Earth' and await your instructions".

The Anatomy of Politics

"Paul turn off your flashlight. There's a real interesting star cluster I'm trying to get a picture of."

Ok, you were right, we should invade AFTER the meek inherit the Earth.

"No threat detected. Their vast resources are spent on lasers that combat wrinkles and unwanted hair."

"It looks like we've moved way past condition red!"

Elevator Music

Where have you been all night?

'Did I get this right? You bet 1,000,000,- that the Earth will get destroyed within the next three hours and if you win, I can keep the money to myself?? WOW!! Good luck, man! GOOD LUCK!!'

'Try not to cause panic - it spoils the meat.'

"I'm not sure if this proves there was intelligent life on this planet or not."

"Our surveillance shows that young Earthlings have portable devices for the purpose of showing funny cat videos."

The Anti-Agent

Secret footage from Roswell, shows an alien and debris from a crashed UFO

"You left this on our ship."

"One more time, Mr Claus - who sold you the data?"

The Circular Logic of Fascism

William Shakespeare a.k.a. Francis Bacon, Earl of Essex....

Santa, Alien, Easter Bunny and Sasquatch plan the perfect caper.

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

'Your videotape's intriguing - But it still doesn't prove that they really exist.'

"My latest sighting turned out to be just another weather balloon."

"Walt Disney on ice."

New Road Signs to Watch For:

Alien Assumption

Crony Capitalism (Always Follow the Money Trail)

The Da Vinci Cod

"Do you think the flat earth society has members round the globe?"

"Check the setting. I'm sure the CIA isn't hacking into our appliances just to burn your toast."

"No, Mother, I don't think Julian Assange is going to leak your recipe for fruitcake."

"I've been genetically modified!"

Acme-5000 Lie Detector