Alien Conspiracy Believer Gifts

Susan Collins Has All the Faith in the World

"You left this on our ship."

Alien Assumption

Elevator Music

Pentagon Science Contest: '...It's a contest by the pentagon. They're gonna pay out half a million bucks to someone who comes up with the best idea on how people could travel to another solar system.'

What can I get you? An explanation for why we haven't gone back to the moon. Would you like the rational explanation or the Youtube explanation? Rational would be lovely, please. Ok. We never went back to the moon because there was no reason to. The whole point of Apollo was to reassure the free world that we could beat the Soviet Union. Mission accomplished. Oh ... that's it? Well, that's rather bland. Could I exchange that for the Youtube explanation? The lizard-men who live on the film set wh

'Take me to your computer.'

'Take me to your auto body shop.'

Dustbin monster.

'...it's some distance away - but there are lots of 'em and they're edible.'

'Perhaps the surest evidence intelligent life exists out there is the fact it hasn't revealed itself to us thus far.'

'If this drilling goes on they are going to find my stash of Martian Dollars I buried as a hedge against inflation.'

'Remember when the authorities were notified when we were spotted? Now nobody cares. They think we're drones.'

"Says he's one of the MacMartian Clan."

"Well, if I didn't send away for an entry application to the cat show, and you didn't send away for an entry application, who did?"

Pyramid UFO...

"No threat detected. Their vast resources are spent on lasers that combat wrinkles and unwanted hair."

Robot Attack in Bath

'...and then these two-eyed creatures took me from my spaceship to a four-wheeled vehicle. Nobody believes me. But you do, don't you doc?'

Aliens watch movie featuring human invaders.

"Take us to your most influential power couple."

Cows make terrible superheroes

'Your resume certainly includes a lot of UFO abductions....'

'Oh, nothing's wrong -- I just expected Earthlings to be taller, that's all.'

Any news on that star that might have a Dyson sphere around it? Nothing new. I mean, they discovered the star's probably been dimming ever since 1890, which could lend credence to the notion an alien race has been building a Dyson sphere. By they discovered that a few months ago. There's been nothing since then, so ... whatever. Must be nothing there. They should do a study to see how long it takes your attention span to dim. What? Why? What're we talking about?

'Of course we're not going to experiment on you. We needed another hand for our bridge game.'

'Graze in perfect circles. It drives people crazy.'

'...Water on Mars'

"Oh, wow....this is cool! What are you making?"

"Take us to your leader!"

"If they figure out how to clone humans, we're screwed."

"Sir, there's a crack in our lens!"

Cat scratch fever

Alien Shopping List: Milk, Bread, Bin Bags, Earthling.

I knew we didn't have enough blocks for this thing.'