Ancient Alien Theorist Gifts

Another archaeological site where some believe ancients had help from aliens.

"Something very big buried a lot of bones here."

"You left this on our ship."

Alien Assumption

"Fantastic! Do you realize what we've just stumbled upon? It's the fabled Lost Glove Compartment of the Ancient Astronauts!"

"Darn autocorrect!"

Elevator Music

"I've been genetically modified!"

Giorgio A. Tsoukalos - Ancient Aliens

"We found three sort-of Earthlike planets around a nearby star." "Do you think any of them have video games?" "I've been trying to work out the odds of an intelligent species arising and evolving thumbs capable of holding an X-box controller." "Proof of video games would change everything." "I wonder what the aliens on those planets consider sexy." "Living beings creating simulated beings they can smash is the hallmark of an intelligent species."

Pentagon Science Contest: '...It's a contest by the pentagon. They're gonna pay out half a million bucks to someone who comes up with the best idea on how people could travel to another solar system.'

'Take me to your computer.'

"After finally discovering that we exist, you would think you would have something more important to ask than if we had Roku."

'If this drilling goes on they are going to find my stash of Martian Dollars I buried as a hedge against inflation.'

"Shoulda brought the weed."

UFO and snowman

'Sorry, I'm a stranger here myself.'

'Remember when the authorities were notified when we were spotted? Now nobody cares. They think we're drones.'

"No threat detected. Their vast resources are spent on lasers that combat wrinkles and unwanted hair."

Crop Circle: Meet the Author

We've been coming here for decades, but I still don't understand their idea that the richest person is the one with the most money.

Robot Attack in Bath

Any news on that star that might have a Dyson sphere around it? Nothing new. I mean, they discovered the star's probably been dimming ever since 1890, which could lend credence to the notion an alien race has been building a Dyson sphere. By they discovered that a few months ago. There's been nothing since then, so ... whatever. Must be nothing there. They should do a study to see how long it takes your attention span to dim. What? Why? What're we talking about?

"Take us to your most influential power couple."

"They discovered an Earthlike planet, and it's close." "Earthlike?" "Does it have oceans and beaches and sensual ladies who like to gaze at sunsets?" "It may have liquid water. And it's orbiting a red dwarf, so it'll always look like sunset." "But is there anyone there to whisper sweet nothings to?" "I know a guy at NASA. If they send a probe, maybe he could add your dating profile."

"How's it going with the human cloning?"

'Of course we're not going to experiment on you. We needed another hand for our bridge game.'

'The problem is you don't know the value of a clam shell.'

Alien Shopping List: Milk, Bread, Bin Bags, Earthling.

Above a fisherman a flying saucer hovers dangling a worm on a hook.

'Please give so we can find a cure for ALPOERQUINTERXY.'

"Take us to your leader!"

"Sir, there's a crack in our lens!"

"I thought you said what happens in another galazy, stays in another galaxy."

I knew we didn't have enough blocks for this thing.'