Alien Life Theorist Gifts

"I've been genetically modified!"

"Something very big buried a lot of bones here."

Alien David statue

"You left this on our ship."

"Call me?"

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

Elevator Music

Strange and exotic creatures that exist on other planets - and ones that exist here on earth.

'Take me to your computer.'

Pentagon Science Contest: '...It's a contest by the pentagon. They're gonna pay out half a million bucks to someone who comes up with the best idea on how people could travel to another solar system.'

"We've discovered a habitable planet teeming with strange and wonderous lifeforms! Quick – clear an area for a mining operation and power station!"

"There's a cure—but it's light-years away."

A car's soul escapes as it expires at the meter.

'Remember when the authorities were notified when we were spotted? Now nobody cares. They think we're drones.'

"No threat detected. Their vast resources are spent on lasers that combat wrinkles and unwanted hair."

Crop Circle: Meet the Author

'Things haven't been the same since the alien abduction.'

Robot Attack in Bath

"Man, they can't do anything right. Half the countries are underdeveloped. The other half are overdeveloped."

"Great! Just have your aliens get in touch with my aliens!"

"How's it going with the human cloning?"

"Take us to your most influential power couple."

"Sadie, they found a planet orbiting Proxima Centauri. That makes way over 1,000 planets we've discovered in my lifetime." "It must be exciting for you, discovering there are 1,000 worlds full of people who can't possibly know what a doofus you are." "...Unless they've got telescopes." "It is exciting. Now I know how you must've felt when Oog the Caveman discovered Venus." "I see you're bringing what passes for your 'A-game' today."

Any news on that star that might have a Dyson sphere around it? Nothing new. I mean, they discovered the star's probably been dimming ever since 1890, which could lend credence to the notion an alien race has been building a Dyson sphere. By they discovered that a few months ago. There's been nothing since then, so ... whatever. Must be nothing there. They should do a study to see how long it takes your attention span to dim. What? Why? What're we talking about?

"They discovered an Earthlike planet, and it's close." "Earthlike?" "Does it have oceans and beaches and sensual ladies who like to gaze at sunsets?" "It may have liquid water. And it's orbiting a red dwarf, so it'll always look like sunset." "But is there anyone there to whisper sweet nothings to?" "I know a guy at NASA. If they send a probe, maybe he could add your dating profile."

"This is where you'll be sleeping."

Another archaeological site where some believe ancients had help from aliens.

'Of course we're not going to experiment on you. We needed another hand for our bridge game.'

"We've come here for the martinis, we've always come here for the martinis."

'Uh, no offense, but is there other life here?'

"Sir, there's a crack in our lens!"

Alien Shopping List: Milk, Bread, Bin Bags, Earthling.

"Well, the way I've heard it, our species once dies out - then humans came along, destroyed the planet - then evolution started all over again and here we are. . ."

Could the extinction of the dinosaurs have been due to a virus?"

'Please give so we can find a cure for ALPOERQUINTERXY.'