Alien Life Fantasist Gifts

"They discovered an Earthlike planet, and it's close." "Earthlike?" "Does it have oceans and beaches and sensual ladies who like to gaze at sunsets?" "It may have liquid water. And it's orbiting a red dwarf, so it'll always look like sunset." "But is there anyone there to whisper sweet nothings to?" "I know a guy at NASA. If they send a probe, maybe he could add your dating profile."

"Something very big buried a lot of bones here."

Alien David statue

"There appears to be a flaw in our cloaking technology."

Kid blowing bubble takes off.

Strange and exotic creatures that exist on other planets - and ones that exist here on earth.

Pentagon Science Contest: '...It's a contest by the pentagon. They're gonna pay out half a million bucks to someone who comes up with the best idea on how people could travel to another solar system.'

"Why so grim, handsome?"

"We've discovered a habitable planet teeming with strange and wonderous lifeforms! Quick – clear an area for a mining operation and power station!"

'Take me to your computer.'

'Careful! A spark could start a new universe.'

'...it's some distance away - but there are lots of 'em and they're edible.'

'Remember when the authorities were notified when we were spotted? Now nobody cares. They think we're drones.'

Crop Circle: Meet the Author

"Man, they can't do anything right. Half the countries are underdeveloped. The other half are overdeveloped."

"First, I'd like to thank everyone who believed in me."

"Great! Just have your aliens get in touch with my aliens!"

"How's it going with the human cloning?"

"Sadie, they found a planet orbiting Proxima Centauri. That makes way over 1,000 planets we've discovered in my lifetime." "It must be exciting for you, discovering there are 1,000 worlds full of people who can't possibly know what a doofus you are." "...Unless they've got telescopes." "It is exciting. Now I know how you must've felt when Oog the Caveman discovered Venus." "I see you're bringing what passes for your 'A-game' today."

'Of course we're not going to experiment on you. We needed another hand for our bridge game.'

'Uh, no offense, but is there other life here?'

'Please give so we can find a cure for ALPOERQUINTERXY.'

"We've come here for the martinis, we've always come here for the martinis."

Chalk Bored

'I was chatting with Krog when, out of the blue, that thing fell on him.'

Alien Shopping List: Milk, Bread, Bin Bags, Earthling.

I knew we didn't have enough blocks for this thing.'

'...I know it's hard, but try keeping all your eyes on the ball.'

'Oh, you're from earth. Do you know Aaron Michaelson?'

Arizona Nightmares

"Welcome to the land of Nod, Cain."