Alien Abduction Skeptic Gifts

Alien Assumption

"You left this on our ship."

"When we're home, are we still aliens?"

"Keep looking. She's here somewhere."

Elevator Music

'Take me to your computer.'

Pentagon Science Contest: '...It's a contest by the pentagon. They're gonna pay out half a million bucks to someone who comes up with the best idea on how people could travel to another solar system.'

'Take me to your auto body shop.'

'If this drilling goes on they are going to find my stash of Martian Dollars I buried as a hedge against inflation.'

Dustbin monster.

"Shoulda brought the weed."

'Remember when the authorities were notified when we were spotted? Now nobody cares. They think we're drones.'

"Says he's one of the MacMartian Clan."

Stranger in Strange Land's End Catalog

"Honey, look-those are the tiles I was thinking about for the kitchen."

"No threat detected. Their vast resources are spent on lasers that combat wrinkles and unwanted hair."

Robot Attack in Bath

"Do you think there is life on other plants?"

'...and then these two-eyed creatures took me from my spaceship to a four-wheeled vehicle. Nobody believes me. But you do, don't you doc?'

"I made it from a lost space probe."

'Your resume certainly includes a lot of UFO abductions....'

'Oh, nothing's wrong -- I just expected Earthlings to be taller, that's all.'

Any news on that star that might have a Dyson sphere around it? Nothing new. I mean, they discovered the star's probably been dimming ever since 1890, which could lend credence to the notion an alien race has been building a Dyson sphere. By they discovered that a few months ago. There's been nothing since then, so ... whatever. Must be nothing there. They should do a study to see how long it takes your attention span to dim. What? Why? What're we talking about?

Cows make terrible superheroes

"Take us to your most influential power couple."

Another archaeological site where some believe ancients had help from aliens.

'Of course we're not going to experiment on you. We needed another hand for our bridge game.'

'We would like to visit with you about the possibility of expanding our franchise...'

'Graze in perfect circles. It drives people crazy.'

"Oh, wow....this is cool! What are you making?"

"Take us to your leader!"

"Sir, there's a crack in our lens!"

Alien Shopping List: Milk, Bread, Bin Bags, Earthling.

I knew we didn't have enough blocks for this thing.'

'We're not going to Roswell again, it's such a tourist trap.'