Alien Abduction Theorist T-Shirts

'I'd steer clear of them on the forth of July!'

"You left this on our ship."

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

Alien Assumption

Elevator Music

'Take me to your computer.'

Pentagon Science Contest: '...It's a contest by the pentagon. They're gonna pay out half a million bucks to someone who comes up with the best idea on how people could travel to another solar system.'

"There's a cure—but it's light-years away."

'Take me to your auto body shop.'

'If this drilling goes on they are going to find my stash of Martian Dollars I buried as a hedge against inflation.'

"Shoulda brought the weed."

Dustbin monster.

'Remember when the authorities were notified when we were spotted? Now nobody cares. They think we're drones.'

"Says he's one of the MacMartian Clan."

Robot Attack in Bath

"Honey, look-those are the tiles I was thinking about for the kitchen."

Stranger in Strange Land's End Catalog

"No threat detected. Their vast resources are spent on lasers that combat wrinkles and unwanted hair."

'...and then these two-eyed creatures took me from my spaceship to a four-wheeled vehicle. Nobody believes me. But you do, don't you doc?'

'Oh, nothing's wrong -- I just expected Earthlings to be taller, that's all.'

Cows make terrible superheroes

"Take us to your most influential power couple."

'Your resume certainly includes a lot of UFO abductions....'

Another archaeological site where some believe ancients had help from aliens.

'Of course we're not going to experiment on you. We needed another hand for our bridge game.'

'Graze in perfect circles. It drives people crazy.'

"Sir, there's a crack in our lens!"

Alien Shopping List: Milk, Bread, Bin Bags, Earthling.

"Take us to your leader!"

Above a fisherman a flying saucer hovers dangling a worm on a hook.

"Oh, wow....this is cool! What are you making?"

I knew we didn't have enough blocks for this thing.'

'We're not going to Roswell again, it's such a tourist trap.'

"Hey - a crop circle! Let's land here...."

*Translation: "M'eh-lahni-ah... your mission begins. Depart for 'Earth' and await your instructions".