Alcohol Humor Pillows

Drunken cyclist

'You've got it wrong,luv-it's Fido who's the boozer!'

Bar: Now serving 24 hours - 'I want to get as wasted as you look.'

'It's time you booked yourself into rehab!'

"Tell me more about your problem - I understand it's drink related."

Do not allow your owner to foul the footpath.

Canadian Alcoholidaze.

'I'm trying a beer diet: lager for breakfast, bock for lunch, and IPA for dinner. So far, I'm losing 2 days per week.'

Drunken rooster has a hangover while sun rises.

'Are you trying to be funny?'

'You STUPID fool Ryan! Didn't i warn you not to go JUDGING his cover?!' / A book has just been bashed around a bit for judging another book's cover.

Alcoholidays: Beethovens fifth.

'I don't think I've seen your brother, what does he look like?'

Waiter watering down wine

Seltzer paste.

'How wonderful, I've always wanted to meet a connoisseur of wines costing under £4.99 a bottle.'

'If that's my wife, tell her meow, meuwwf, meew, hiss.'

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

'Are you drunk again!!?'

pickled onions...

"How do they expect me to get to an early opener when I'm still too drunk to walk from the night before?"

'What do we do now? He was our designated driver?'

A drunk man being told to get up out of the gutter by a policeman

Man offering a drink to a drowning man

'Then I hit him with my three-legged punch. . .I hit him with my stool.'

Dowser and Beer

"This is my shoulder to cry on..."

"I wanted to get her a car instead of that ten carat diamond ring, but I couldn't find a fake Mercedes."

"I think it is silly to assume people drank more during the lockdown."

A Delicate Hint.

'Are you drunk?'

"Oh, it's you Jane. I didn't recognize you standing up."