Jokes On Drinking Pillows

Bar: Now serving 24 hours - 'I want to get as wasted as you look.'

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

6 Quarantine-Friendly Fashions

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

'The history of Glue. It's impossible to put down.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Be patient. He'll have to visit the water cooler sooner or later."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

"Thanks for walking a mile in my shoe but it's beginning to hurt now."

'Senior management wanted me to raise morale so I made Lionel from accounts 'office jester'!'

"Until the plaster sets, try not to laugh."

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

Children disturbing a heart rate reading.

Intelligent people laugh too!

"I'm afraid you could go at any time."

'Your shoe's untied.'

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

Assault 'n' Vinegar

'He likes to power nap.'

Snowprov

The Rooster Comedian.

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

Backfire

"I'll wait a moment for everyone's energy drink to kick in."

'I couldn't think of a science fair project so I just re-invented the wheel.'

'Ok, here comes farmer Brown, put these on and remember.......act natural!'

"I think I've reached that age when I don't remember if I've forgotten something."