Jokes On Drinking Gifts

Bar: Now serving 24 hours - 'I want to get as wasted as you look.'

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

6 Quarantine-Friendly Fashions

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

'The history of Glue. It's impossible to put down.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"Be patient. He'll have to visit the water cooler sooner or later."

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

"Thanks for walking a mile in my shoe but it's beginning to hurt now."

'Senior management wanted me to raise morale so I made Lionel from accounts 'office jester'!'

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

Intelligent people laugh too!

Children disturbing a heart rate reading.

"Until the plaster sets, try not to laugh."

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

"I'm afraid you could go at any time."

'He likes to power nap.'

'Your shoe's untied.'

Assault 'n' Vinegar

Backfire

The Rooster Comedian.

Snowprov

"I'll wait a moment for everyone's energy drink to kick in."

'I couldn't think of a science fair project so I just re-invented the wheel.'

'Ok, here comes farmer Brown, put these on and remember.......act natural!'

Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster have some fun with the tourists...