Whimsical Drinking Humor Pillows

'Just put what's left in a doggy cup.'

Skipping Horse

"Actually, make that a double cream."

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

"Would the widdle Venus fly trap like a fly? You'll have to beg for it."

"I said slime."

A bird plays the flute to a cat.

"Tonight I'm getting together with pals to sit around and croak."

Dog in casino.

"Kids these days and their piercings..."

"Wait, has thou brought snacks?"

Bar: Now serving 24 hours - 'I want to get as wasted as you look.'

Adam and Eve, as old people.

Cinderella insisted on always having glass slippers - even into old age...

The worm that churned!

Ask A Silly Question.

"Look at Ernie. He's so tipsy, he's walking face forward."

"I've worked as a wet-nurse for ten years, but I'm after something new now..."

'Sheep striptease'.

"When I go, I’d like my ashes dumped on top of a squirrel’s head."

"This way I don't have to lug around that big bag."

'Old mother hubbard -- your cupboard is now bare.'

"I was kicked out from another kid's bed. Do you mind if I crash under yours for awhile?"

"I'm thinking considerably longer. How about you, Alan?"

Moon Pies.

"Look! A sushi bar!"

'How come this sheep tastes like sugar?'

Snowman Tattoo

"There's someone sleeping in my pew, and she's still there!"

Park cleaner orders leaf to come down.

Bus for Giraffes.

Factory Recall Unicorn.

"Excuse me, but I'm the only one who opens cans around here!"

'See? Tantor like Jane -- he want Jane give belly rub!'

Banana