Whimsical Humor Enthusiasts Pillows

'That's right! I'm flicking you the bird! Deal with it!'

Elves' Union Presents Demands To Santa Claus

Skipping Horse

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

"Actually, make that a double cream."

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

"Well, I'm thinking about boarding school. Though I'm not sure they accept adults."

"They're comfortable."

"I know this is not a proper job for a PhD, Mom, but I have student loans to repay."

'I'm keeping a scrap book. All I've got so far is one umbilical cord.'

"I said slime."

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

"Yeah, I don't like this part either."

"Would the widdle Venus fly trap like a fly? You'll have to beg for it."

Man enters a palm reading establishment carrying a tropical plant.

"She wishes to range free!"

'Don't be alarmed if you hear the toilet flush a lot. Since you don't feel well, I thought I'd wash the dishes for you.'

"Tonight I'm getting together with pals to sit around and croak."

Dog in casino.

"...And that's how to translate honey into money."

How Amazon was invented

A bird plays the flute to a cat.

'I'm into New Age. My new age is 26.'

King on the toilet whilst jester laughs because the toilet paper is out of reach.

'I'm sure that the autopsy will confirm it was a suicide.'

A Mix Up Between the Buggy and Lawn Mower.

Humans Queue To Use Portable Toilet While Dogs Queue To Use Tree Portable Toilet